I think so much about you,

that there are no thoughts left for you to think about me.


I dream about you,

so I do not disturb your sleep.


I stare at you,

so that you don’t notice me.


who/what/when/where/why/how ?

please stay

I worried/I worry/I will worry

I hate this

to hug/two arms/too late

I thought there was something

I thought I was something

I thought I was someone

I thought you were someone

I think you are someone

I hope you will be someone

Roller coasters

I was always afraid of roller coasters

and now my emotions have become one.

Can I just scream and enjoy the ride?

I’m trying.

But what happens when I lose my voice or my lungs get tired?

Is the seat belt saving me, or just strapping me down?

I wish I had someone to sit next to me while I ride,

but that would be selfish.


I should be happy for you

but I’m not

my misery looms ahead

panicked feelings and dread


Jealousy is a toxic feeling

I  need an antidote


save me

it’s haunting me

burning me





I am not fucking clay

you cannot mold me to your liking


don’t even touch me.

I want to form myself,

but I need to break free.

Being tugged every which way,

is making me uneasy.

I need to figure this out,

or else I will dry out,

turn into dust,

and never be the same.

So I will be some abstract pottery.

And now it’s time to go into the kiln,

and then be glazed,

and let myself shine.