I have thoughts to express

but they are stubborn and prefer to house themselves inside my head

so what spouts out is nonsense

I wish I knew

what I wish I knew I don’t know

I wish I knew what I wish I knew

Random thoughts

The idea of death scares me.  Someone suddenly ceases to exist, how strange is that?  It can be expected, or unexpected but still causes grief to others.   I’m young, and hopefully have a long life ahead of me, but if I were to die young, I feel that my life would have been a waste.  So I need to accomplish something important.  I want to have a life worth living.

I think so much about you,

that there are no thoughts left for you to think about me.

 

I dream about you,

so I do not disturb your sleep.

 

I stare at you,

so that you don’t notice me.

sigh

Even my most loserish friends have boyfriends now.  Nobody wants me for a relationship, they only want me for my boobs.  Fuck this shit.

I have this friend, and I think she’s stupid

Is it mean of me to think that?

Well she doesn’t seem to understand simple stuff and it’s driving me nuts

fuck my stupid food diary

i had ice cream today, and it was 4 servings, each serving having 350 calories

and that is why im a fatass

who/what/when/where/why/how ?

please stay

I worried/I worry/I will worry

I hate this

to hug/two arms/too late

I thought there was something

I thought I was something

I thought I was someone

I thought you were someone

I think you are someone

I hope you will be someone

Day 5

brunch:

milk and cereal

dinner :

(i’m really proud of this)

salad

pasta salad

broccoli

smashed potatoes

chocolate milk

Day 4

breakfast:

oatmeal

lunch:

granola bar

2/3 a bag of popcorn

dinner:

water and a 6 inch italian sub

snack:

2 ants on a log and 2 mikes hard lemonade

nongshim spicy soup

Day 3

breakfast:

milk and oatmeal

lunch:

vanilla soy milk and turkey wrap

dinner:

aquafina purelife carbonated drink (yucky why did i get it)

cheddar cheese soup, granola bar, carrots an celery with ranch

snack:

apple and pb

charmy =)

This is charmy, my dinosaur. Yes, she may be awkward-looking, but that’s why I love her.

Day 2 (6 weeks without junk food)

breakfast:

milk and cereal

lunch:

salad and vanilla soymilk

snack(ish):

2 starburst-like candies (oops)

dinner:

veggie italian panini and water

snack:

banana with peanut butter

and a couple hours after that, an apple with peanut butter

Day 1 (10/15)

breakfast:

milk and cheerios

lunch:

half a chicken caesar wrap, and chocolate soymilk

dinner:

water, salad, chicken tikka masala, potatoes

snack:

a semi-frozen pear (thanks to my fabulous dorm fridge…)

popcorn

hot chocolate

6 weeks without junk food

I am trying to go six weeks without eating junk food.

I will write a food diary each day